Sunday, September 27, 2009

Numb

I hate that I am so numb right now
I hate that my stupid football team lost the grand final
I hate that I got up at 6am to watch them lose a grand final
I hate seeing my dad upset
I hate that he is lying to us
I hate that he is lying to himself
I hate that he is giving her another chance
I hate that she will hurt him again
I hate that in order to be a good daughter I just need to shut my mouth and let him live his own life
I hate that everyone who is so important to me lives so far away
I hate that I just need a hug but can't remember when I last had one
I hate everything right now.

EXCEPT
That tomorrow I will not smoke a cigarette.
That tomorrow if I get through one full day without puffing on a cancer stick, I will believe in myself enough not to ever pick up one agin.;

2 comments:

The Captain's Wife said...

Caragh- I hope you can feel this....

((((((HUGS))))))

It is the tightest, longest, warmest hug I can muster up....

Quiting smoking is awesome...I believe in you....

Bella said...

Good for you for quitting smoking! I'm very proud of you and I hope things get better soon! ((HUGS))