Words

I lay in the silence of this house.
Uncomfortable and feeling alone.
I wish I could explain how much this loneliness hurts

It breaks my heart when you don't call.
When you don't try hard enough.
But what is enough.

It will never be enough.

There are so many things that I could or should be doing.

But instead I choose none.
I choose to sit in the silence or learn about others who have lives worse than myself so I feel better.
But I just feel numb.
I feel dead.
I feel like I don't exist.

I want to exist and be happy but I don't think I even know how.
I depend on you far too much too be happy.