Immaculate Conception

* Warning this post is stupid

Immaculate conception is something thats has never been proven.
Right now, im sitting here and thinking to myself..
Why is my period late?
It's NEVER been late.. and when I say never.. I mean never.
8 years..
Every month.
ON time, as predicted.. between 28-31 days.

3 days ago I had a spot of blood.
WTF I don't spot.
I never spot.
A few twinges of pain.. and then NOTHING.

This month I wanted to start birth control.
why?
Am I planning on preventing pregnancy ???
No.. no not really.
I want my periods to be lighter and for it to possibly help clear my skin.
So here I sit.. 32 cycle days later.
And for a brief second a though crosses my mind.

"Could I be like that really freaky chick on house who was a virgin but managed to somehow impregnate herself and be both the mother AND father to her baby?"

No caragh.. you couldnt.
Thats a ridiculous thought.
Its even less likly than getting pregnant from a toilet seat..
Less likely?
Hell I dont even think thats been proven...

And if WANTING children and thinking about having babies... suddenly got you pregnant.. wouldn't all those good people who are struggling with infertility suddenly be knocked up.

I truely think I am becoming obsessed with this though.. I mean I'm NOT about to go out and get pregnant.

Health wise, im probably at a great time in my life to start poping out kids.
But I'm not that selfish.. its not just about MY life, MY wants..
I have to think about what is best for said future child.
So anyway, not pregnant or planning on being anytime soon..

So seriously where the fuck is my period?????

Someone give me back my mojo!

Blah
I have no energy today... I was up past 4am last night and awoke at 11:30 but seriously i'm laying on the couch here with no desire to move until at least 6:30 when I have to go to one of my BFF's graduation dinner tonight at 6:30.

I mean... I just got paid which means im loaded for pretty much the only time in the month... I know i'm getting my bonus next week so I could very well go shopping and buy some new clothes.. or something.. But I just can't move.

I wonder if its the depression setting in, my docotor actually went off at me for not staying on my meds last year for longer.. But I felt SO much better.
Therapy had helped a treat.. and I swear I graduated..
When she told me I was elidgable for another 12 free therapy sessions on my "mental health plan" I was almost releaved.. I thought it was capped.. but no every 12 months I have permission to go insane and get free medication and therapy.
Man I loved that shrink.... She was possibly one of the only people in this world who had ever made me feel normal at all..
Like I WASNT crazy.. I mean I know I'm a little wacky.. but her ability to break it all down and just be there it was amazing.
So maybe I will see her again.

Last nigth I was out with a friend.. she's been in a relationship with a man who is 24 years her senior.. he already has 4 kids and they were speaking about there future.. He asks her on a daily basis to marry him, obviously shes very young (22) and hasn't said yes.. but she was thinking about her future and the fact that they definatly want kids.He said he'd give her as many as she wanted to make her happy.. but the reality of it is that she could probably only ever have one.

She was diagnosed with epilipsy when she was about 11 years old, unfortunately its the kind that even with medication gets worse overtime. Although she doesn't have grand mal seizures.. she does black out alot and have quite a few twinges no matter how regular her medication schedule is.
In reality she would have to come off her medications to get pregnant, which itself could cause seziures, and if she got pregnant on her medication well thats a whole nother story just there.. the drugs she's on can cause severe birth defects and developmental delays.

While we were sitting there and she was telling me just how she felt about the posibiliy of not having a child, only having one child, hurting the child through having a seizure.. I just said it.

"I'd have your baby for you"

Surrogacy is something I've always thought of, I am not againts the possibility of egg donation either.. I just dont know if anyone would want my crappy genes..
But to me her story was heart breaking because I know how much she wants children (she comes from a family of 6 kids) she knows that love and wants to experience it.. without putting her health, or the health of her unborn child at risk.

So I would do it, I'd absouletly do it. Their are many rules to surrogacy that I dont fully understand and obviously now, when im 22 this is not an option. But in 5 years... It just may well be..

Anyway thats all from me, I'm gonna relax for an hour or so and then attempt to shopping(I really hate shopping unless its for someone else and I know exactly what I want to get them)

hmm to watch the L word, or how I met your mother.. Two totally different shows.