Wednesday, March 25, 2009

How Did I Get Here

How did I get here..
How am I having an emotional affair with someone who's married...
How am I in love.. with someone else.
Someone who has a live in girlfriend who he says is just a friend.
I know better of course I know better.. Pictures dont fucking lie!
Well sometimes they do..
But in this case they don't.
How am I able to justify all of this in my head.
I feel like a sinner..
Like a real sinner
like a disgusting excuse for a human being.

I never agreed to any of this.
I didnt.
I never wanted any of this.

My life was complicated enough
Then all of you came along.

Part of me wishes you'd just all go away and never come back.

But part of me also knows that no matter what I do..
Now that i've had your love, your friendship..
Nothing will ever be the same without it.

I wont be the same without it.

So what do I do.

Turn my back?

Turn my back on the people that make me so happy.. but yet make me so miserable at the same time??

Or keep going the way I am and slowly burn a hole deep into my soul.


Sarah said...

Forget about being a "sinner" thats BS at this point. He sure sounds like a scum bag though. Not only is he a cheater (and believe me sweetie, if he cheated on HER you can bet your sweet ass he'll cheat on you!) but he is a liar too. I say BOO to him. Time to move on. He has no respect for you or his girlfriend. You both deserve better than that.