Sunday, August 9, 2009


There is so much sad news floating around as of late.
Several IF blogs I follow have had terrible terrible news.
My friend's mum has just started chemo for advanced breast cancer.
I am finding it SO hard to reach out to here, that I just haven't yet.
I am scared, scared of saying the wrong thing, saying too much or not enough.
Every one's experience is different, for S this is the first family heart ache she has had to endure. That seems unlikely but its true.
For me, my mothers cancer was just another bump in the road.
A long road, less travelled.
Its so hard to see someone you love sick.
Seeing a parent sick is particularly hard because you see them as such a strong figure. Her mother is going to be sick, and broken. She'll be angry and upset.
She'll loose her hair, her breasts and possibly her self esteem in the process.

What can you say to that?
How can you in a way try and prepare someone for what you know lies ahead of them?
I guess the answer is you cant.
You can't tell someone they are about to see the worst, because they need hope that they might see the best.
You can't claim to know what it's like to walk in someone Else's shoes.
Even if you've walked in shoes that might be the same size and shape.
Sometimes you have to stand to the side of the path they are walking down.
Hold out your hands and say to them.

If you stumble, I will catch you.
If you need to fall apart, I will listen to you.
If you need to laugh, I will laugh with you.

For all the times I've travelled down a similar path.
I never realised how hard it was to be standing on the other side.
With baited breath you wait to find the right things to say or do.
But there are no right things to do.

Sometimes just knowing that people are standing beside you, is the greatest comfort of all.