Sunday, August 2, 2009

Like sands through the hour glass

Well you know the rest.
As Time continues to pass us all by. This weekend I made the choice to be more proactive that I have been recently.
Although the alure of sleeping late, doing nothing and then bitching about why I get no sleep on sunday night/monday morning has clearly been high on my adgenda recently. I choose to do something different this weekend.

I went to bed at a reasonable hour, got up at a reasonable hour, drove around and did a few little things that I had been needing today.
Yesterday while on my way to breakfast.. I had rememered staring at the fridge for the 209824938 time thinking "god I wish you were clean" then closing the fridge and going about my business.
I decided that enough was enough and on the way home I stopped by to pick up an array of cleaning products.
Then I spent approximately 1.5 hours cleaning the fridge and the oven.

It's not that I hate cleaning.. but believe me I am no domestic godess and I hate ironing so much that I actually analyse the need for ironing when I am purchasing new items of clothing.

I will be the first too admit that my mother did everything for us.
She obsessivly cleaned the house, washed our sheets, did our ironing, dusted, vaccumed, mopped. You name it she did it. Daily, Weekly, Monthly.

When my mum got sick she insisted that I learnt how to do an array of domestic chores.. Such as knowing how to clean a toilet and bathroom properly.
I guess I resented this in a way because she wasnt grabbing my brothers by the arms and throwing them into the bathroom to learn how to scrub a bathtub just right.

As time as gone on, I have learnt to hate these mundane tasks more and more.
I will do them. Of course because I am not a dirty person.. I am a messy person.. but not a dirty person.

But it took me staring at the fridge for the upteenth time to know that it needed to be cleaned and organised.

Of course now that the fridge was clean. The pantry needed to be cleaned.
So thats my task for today. I am covered in flour and sugar... The bin is stocked full of rubbish. There are more bottles for the recyling bin than ever before.

Normally the thought of this would make me cringe.. but right now I am channeling my mum. I know it sounds stupid but she would be proud that I am not sitting on my ass.. well I am right now.. but I wont be in 5 minutes when I am back into my task.
She'd be proud that I saw something that needed to be done, and I did it.
Because that's what she would do.

There will come a day, when I can look in the mirror and know that all the good parts of her.. can in someway live on in me.
Even if its just in the way I clean the fridge, or the toilet or the sink.

Thats comforting when It seems like its all i've got left


Bella said...

There are many wonderful pats of her that will always live on with you. Mainly your caring and sweet personality. I know she has to be very proud of you!! How is your dad doing?

Rebecca Louise. said...

You know what I do exactly the same when buying clothes to see if they need ironing or not after washing!

Good on you for doing something different though - makes the days more productive =)