Thursday, June 11, 2009

Fakes, Frauds, Fruit Cakes

I've recently seen into the scandal that someone created a FAKE pregnancy and termnially ill child.
I don't know a whole lot about the story, but it makes me SICK that someone would think that this is acceptable behavour.
I don't care HOW fucked up you are, praying on the vulnerable & caring blogging community makes you an extremely SICK person.
This person seriously needs to have there head examined.
I feel so terrible for the kind people who got played by this insane scammer.

Being new to the community, and not being a relevant IF, TTC or Family blog sometimes makes me feel out of place. But I have been accepted by the wonderful people, they have embraced me despite our differences and I am SO thankful for the kind words they leave, and the stories they share with me through their blog.

In other news..
I've been struggling with my weight again.. I've managed to put on a lot of weight over the last hmm I guess almost 18 months since I was at my lowest.
I don't exercise, and I dont eat enough of the right foods.
I'm trying to make slow changes, rather than dramatic ones that make me crave the wrong stuff.
I've come to the conclusion that alot of the reason why I eat bad things is because I can control it. Everytime I shove a big mac down my gob.. I KNOW its not good for me. That in a few hours i'll be HUNGRY again. But I do it, because its something I have complete control over. Its my choice to think about it, get in the car, go and buy it with the money they I earned.
So many things in my life have happened that have been behond my control.
The abuse I suffered, the illness i've witnessed. I've been POWERLESS.
Sometimes having control over what I eat, seems like the only steady and consistent thing I have in my life.

As I again battle depression, I find myself torn between knowing what is good for me. And holding onto the last thing I've got power over.
I've realised, recently that I don't need any of this junk to make me feel full.
If I take some time, and surround myself with positive thoughts and things that are good for me. Its alot easier than it seems.
It's not that I'm never going to shove things in my face that are bad for me, but i'm reducing the chances of that happening.
No toasted sandwiches, rolls, or mc-muffins in the morning.
I get my bag full of fruit and as soon as I get to work I have my banana.. then like clock work 2 hours later I peel back the skin on my mandarine.
By the end of the day, I've eaten my fruit and I feel better for it.

Planning my meals is harder, most of the time I'm cooking for one.
My brother fends for himself. I've tried to get a recipe base together which allows me to simply reduce the quantities of what I'm going to cook, for it to still taste the same.

For example, on Tuesday I got togerther and picked out 3 things for the week.
- Home made pizza, quick easy and veggie based. Was able to have that for lunch yesterday.
- Mushroom avacado, bacon pasta.. yup I added bacon.. but I only had a small serve and man it was good and fresh.
- Chinese fried rice- I was going to make this tonight, but I'm baby sitting so instead of letting the veggies go off. I made two dinners last night and I am having the rice for lunch.

On monday morning when I'd had my weekened binge, I got on the scales.
I was not happy with what I saw, even less happy than normal.
When I got on the scales this morning. It read 1.8 kilos or 3.9lbs than it did on monday.

I know some of this is water weight, I know some of this is just daily stuff.
But it made me feel better, to know that even though I'm not making any DRAMATIC changes. It's making a difference. Overtime if I can slowly adjust my habits, any weight I lose will hopefully stay off for longer. Or permantely.

As for fruit cakes, well that's with regards to dad's girlfriend again.
I so don't like her, and the way she was bragging to my dad about having made no progress with her meds, or her shrink.
Her depression scale has gone from a 2 to a 4.
Thats not something to brag about.
She should go away yes?


Hope everyone is having a great day!



Bella said...

Yes, she should go away. Agreed :)

I don't advice on the weight dealio because I haven't mastered that myself, so I feel your pain! I wish I was more organized and would plan meals for the week, but I'm just plain lazy.

heyLyss09 said...

You don't have to lose control over anything, just redirect it. Choosing NOT to eat something is having as much control over the situation as choosing TO eat it. Right?

A couple years ago when I needed to lose a bunch of junk food weight that I gained, I did a ton of reading on diets. I took the approach of not cutting the AMOUNT of food I ate, but simply switching over to foods that weren't processed. Meaning I ate as much of anything I wanted as long as it had no artificial ingredients.

This meant I couldn't be as lazy about eating because I had to prepare more meals. All in all, it was highly affective because I was eating healthy, natural foods, and eating less at the same time because sometimes I was too lazy to prepare anything. When I took out the option of eating prepared foods, I was only left with 2 options: prepare something healthy or don't eat. I lost 10 lbs in 10 weeks.

I type this as I sit here eating Oreos. Ugh! haha

Frankie said...

yes I have similar issues with food too I think. But yeah the planning helps so much.

I find something I like and make a stack and freeze. I get bored after a while but at least I've got healthy yummy food at my fingertips for a while (Red Rooster is still a little it too close for comfort though).

Rebecca Louise. said...

I was shocked as well. I remember follpwing her blog and being so thankful that she was still pregnant. I remember the day she "gave birth" and was having happy tears that memories could be made.

Just wrong! x