Sunday, July 5, 2009

Anger

I have always had trouble controlling my anger.
When I'm depressed that anger is the first thing that comes about.
I become snappy, moody and in general a terrible person to be around.

It can be at a colleuge.
A friend
A family memeber
A random stranger who cuts me off

But its very random and full on.

Over the past few months, I have noticed my anger diminish.
I am a much nicer person than I was a few months ago.

The truth is, I couldn't BE anymore hurt at what RM has done to me.
I couldn't be more ANGRY that he has, and continues to lie to me.
But I won't let that anger define me.
I wont let it make me do anything stupid.
I won't be hurtful towards him, or others.
Hurting them might release some of my anger.
But it wont make me feel any better.
And I know, that as each day passes.
All the feels I have bottled up surrounding these past 17 months.. Will begin to fade away.
I will never stop loving him, or stop being angry or hurt.

But as I wake up each morning, or as I fall asleep each night.
It will not be the thoughts that control me.

I say no to anger.

2 comments:

Bella said...

Good for you for taking control, so proud of you!!

heyLyss09 said...

Glad you're not letting it get the best of you. I do have to disagree with this statement:
"I will never stop loving him, or stop being angry or hurt"
It takes time from the emotions from a relationship fallout to dull. Someday when you find someone who makes you truly happy, your feelings for this guy will be a distant memory that barely stings at all.